Hymns that amaze me

I grew up with great hymns sung by our congregation and led by my sweet daddy behind the pulpit. My sister and I used to giggle because we would always get through the first two verses and he would say, "and the last," so the congregation would skip to the final verse. I don't know that we ever sang all four (or more) verses of a hymn on Sunday morning. Maybe daddy was in a hurry to get home for my mom's yummy Sunday dinner.

I don't even know quite how I came across this hymn today. I can only say that I think the Holy Spirit guided me to it. I've never heard of John Greenleaf Whittier before, but discovered a bit more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Greenleaf_Whittier.

The words to this hymn were stunning. I wish I could write like this. Thank you, Lord, for the words of saints who have gone before.

I bow my forehead to the dust,
I veil mine eyes for shame,
And urge, in trembling self distrust,
A prayer without a claim.
No offering of mine own I have,
Nor works my faith to prove;
I can but give the gifts He gave,
And plead His love for love.

I dimly guess, from blessings known,
Of greater out of sight;
And, with the chastened psalmist, own
His judgments too are right.
And if my heart and flesh are weak
To bear an untried pain,
The bruiséd reed He will not break,
But strengthen and sustain.

I know not what the future hath
Of marvel or surprise,
Assured alone that life and death
His mercy underlies.
And so beside the silent sea
I wait the muffled oar;
No harm from Him can come to me
On ocean or on shore.

I know not where His islands lift
Their fronded palms in air;
I only know I cannot drift
Beyond His love and care;
And Thou, O Lord, by Whom are seen
Thy creatures as they be,
Forgive me if too close I lean
My human heart on Thee.



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Goodness overlooked

I've just been on an amazing trip, and God blessed me over and over while I was away. I am so thankful for the opportunities I had, the places I saw and experienced, and the wonderful people I had the opportunity to meet. I understand how privileged I am to have been allowed to go. My gratefulness to God grows with each day I'm home as I reflect on the time I had there.

Now that I'm home, I know how easily I could embrace a mindset where I forget to thank God daily for what he gives me. Everything that is good that comes into my day is from my loving Father, and yet I forget to be thankful. It is disappointing to me to consider my ungratefulness and weakness in this area.

I was reading this morning in a little devotional I have called "Daily Strength for Daily Needs." It's a collection of scripture, poetry and prose by various writers. It was originally published in1904, and yet speaks volumes to me each time I read from it. It is such a gift to read the words of believers who lived so many years ago and to draw strength and understanding from their faithful walks with God.

The scripture for today was Psalm 103:2 -- "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits."

ALL his benefits, great and small. Here is the reading for today:

"Into all our lives, in many simple, familiar, homely ways, God infuses this element of joy from the surprises of life, which unexpectedly brighten our days, and fill our eyes with light. He drops this added sweetness into his children's cup, and makes it to run over. The success we were not counting on, the blessing we were not trying after, the strain of music in the midst of drudgery, the beautiful morning picture or sunset glory thrown in as we pass to or from our daily business, the unsought word of encouragement or expression of sympathy, the sentence that meant for us more than the writer or speaker thought,--these and a hundred others that every one's experience can supply are instances of what I mean. You may call it accident or chance--it often is; you may call it human goodness--it often is; but always, you can call it God's love, for that is always in it. These are the overflowing riches of His grace, these are His free gifts." -- S. Longfellow

Please God, help me in my weakness to remember to give you thanks in all things. I don't want to overlook your goodness. Help me to see that the things that happen in each day that are pleasant, that make me laugh, that look beautiful, taste wonderful, sound amazing, and warm my spirit are not just happenstance, but are gifts for me, especially designed by your gracious, loving hand. Open the eyes of my heart to be aware of you in each moment. Thank you, Lord.

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Sunflowers

There are sunflowers all over Hungary. Fields and fields of them. I have never been a huge fan of sunflowers, but when you see a sprawling field of yellow gleaming at you along the road it is difficult not to smile at their sunny faces. Yesterday, sunflowers made a particular impression on me.

I have always been amazed at how God reveals Himself and His love for me through seemingly random things. When God ordains something for me to see, hear, or experience that is to reveal a greater understanding of Him, the Spirit is the one that helps my feeble mind interpret it. Have you ever experienced this? When it happens, I feel a thrill in my soul and, in the case of the sunflowers, tears in my eyes. I always want to be very discerning in thinking myself able to hear from God or to interpret scripture. I think the following passage explains my point

1 Corinthians 2:10-13 says, "These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual."

So, what does this all have to do with sunflowers? Here is what I understood.

I saw the field of bright, young sunflowers as lifting their faces toward heaven, soaking in every bit of sun. Their petals were being nourished by the sunlight, and at the same time radiating the glow of it. I thought of times of joy in my life when I could lift my face to my Father in praise for His many blessings, or for what He had accomplished in me and through me, and could feel His warmth and presence.

Then a little further along I saw a field of sunflowers with wilted heads, their petals falling off, and the green of their leaves quickly fading. These flowers to me looked almost as if their heads were bowed. If I used my imagination a little bit I could almost think they were praying--or crying.

Who would choose to be one of these wilted flowers? Wouldn't one always choose to be lifting their face to the sun, cheerily yellow and radiating happiness? Surely that is the best place in life to be.

And yet, it was the thoughts of the second field of flowers that struck me. These flowers were certainly not experiencing (if flowers can indeed experience anything) a time when they glowed with joy. They were wilted, dying, "broken," if you will. They made me think of my own experiences of brokenness. Of times when I can't lift my face and I wonder whether I'll ever feel the presence of the Lord again.

I've been reading a book by Larry Crabb, and he says that we perhaps should "regard brokenness as an opportunity, as the chance to discover a desire that no brokenness can eliminate but only brokenness reveals." (Shattered Dreams, p. 70) that desire is to know God more deeply. To want nothing more than knowing Him. Crabb insists that we must not hurry God in this time. "...God insists that in our suffering He is doing us good, a greater good than relieving our suffering." (p. 172)

This makes me think of the scripture in James 1 that says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." But I feel I often refuse to take to heart the verse that follows: "Let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." It's FULL effect. Am I willing to wait for that? To endure the testing of my faith until God Himself lifts my head? Do I long to know God in a way that causes me to say I will remain steadfast, even when it hurts because I know that He is LOVING me in this suffering? Lord God, only by your Spirit can I persevere. My strength has limits. I am so greatly in need of yours.

One extra thing that God brought to my mind was this: the reason the flower heads were bent over is because the stems beneath them were strained under the weight of the seeds they were about to produce. They were bowed down, broken, dying, because they were about to produce their fruit. All that was needed was for the seeds to be harvested. Hebrews 12:11 says, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Suffering is training. It can feel like little deaths. But it has a result--for me to be made more like Christ, and to gain a deeper understanding of Him. To want Him more than anything else.

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for
Brokenness is what I need
Brokenness, brokenness is what You want for me, for me
So take my heart, and mold it
Take my mind, transform it
Take my will, conform it, to Yours, to Yours, O Lord


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Budapest is Beautiful!

It was so much fun to play tourist again and see some new things as well as some favorite sights.

First new spot was Heroes Square, which was built for the millennium of the country in 1896. A huge column is encircled by a series of statues of the kings of Hungary. The square is flanked by two museums, and one has some unbelievable mosaic work on it.








Then we went up to the old citadel which offers an unbelievable view of the Danube and Budapest. The height here will give you an idea of the hilly side of the city which is Buda. In the distance on the right you can see the Hungarian Parliament building. Look for the red dome and spires.





We finished the tour at my favorite spot in Budapest, the Fisherman's Bastion and the Matyas Templom. The treat for me this year was to see the church free of scaffolding. Last year it was mostly enclosed as renovations were being completed.
Such a treat to be back in this city. My love and appreciation for it and for Hungary continue to grow.





Oh, and had to enjoy a "big salad" for lunch. Um, big is a bit of an understatement! Jaj!!!!!


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Busy and wonderful Sunday

Sunday was a full day which began with a meaningful worship service at the Budaörs church. The church meets in a sort of lecture hall in a business building near a shopping center. The team from N.C. was still here, and we were able to have a time to share with the church members about our week at camp. Richi, Dani, Dora and Rubi were able to come, and so we shared the songs we learned this week. Richi was so into it he was shaking his little Hungarian booty! It was precious.
It was also such a blessing to worship with those Hungarian believers. The songs were all familiar to us that morning, and it was great to worship together in two different languages. Such a thrill to try to sing in the beautiful Hungarian language. The words on the screen are from "You are My All in All." An old song but still so meaningful and worshipful. The time together made me think of the throne room where "every tribe, tongue, and nation" will sing a new song to Him who is worthy. I can only imagine.






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Some things require no translation

As we enjoyed watermelon at camp last week, I was "forced" to make watermelon teeth. They were quite the hit!












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Catching up

Wow. It's been a week since my last post. Camp week was crazy, but really fun, and in addition to teaching music, the Gospel was clearly presented again and again. The kids asked questions, and we pray that many seeds were planted. The parents who attended the final day's program were very appreciative, and Pastor Pisti presented the Gospel there as well. I learned so much Hungarian from these kids! They were great teachers. I just pray the seeds planted will produce fruit in their lives and for the kingdom.

Please pray for these kids and their families. So many of them don't know Jesus, and have families who don't even believe God exists. Pray that the Church in Budaörs will be able to keep in contact with these families, and share Christ with them. Pray also as they consider expanding to two camps next year to include the kids who have "aged out" of this camp.

I hope the photos will tell the story. Lots of joy, and wonderful memories!




















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Szia! Dzsenifer vagyok!

First day of VBS and English Camps, and what a blast. We ended up with 17 students, ranging in age from 9 to 14, and all having varying degrees of English learning and understanding. The morning for me was spent teaching VBS songs and trying to have the students understand idioms like "get in the groove" and "paint the town." Thankfully we had excellent help from our translators, American father and daughter team Evan and Kelly, and Hungarians Szasza and Kristi. I think I have learned the key to teaching these VBS songs--don't be afraid to look incredibly silly.



After lunch break we returned to the classrooms for English lessons. What a joy to get to watch my dear friend Karen teach. We had a great time with our class of 5--Sara, Richi, Timi, Dora, and Luca. Karen taught with books, games, songs, and a whole battery of tricks. It was fun hearing the students try to pronounce sounds that don't exist in their language, like "th" sounds. You can see some attempts in the pictures.











The boy in the picture is Richi. He was so much fun today. I didn't find out until after camp that his mother died when he was very young, and that his father is currently dying. Richi lives with am uncle right now. He is very bright and seems to be a happy boy. Pray that we can have the opportunity to find out more about his faith. The girl on the left in the blue is Dora. The look on her face represents well her demeanor for most of the day--uncertain and painfully shy. I was able to have some one on one time with her today working on her numbers. Pray for more opportunities to love on her and make her feel welcome and more sure of herself.

Praise the Lord, the heat has broken this evening. Will be cool sleeping for the first time in 3 days. Thank you for your prayers!

Day 2 is fast approaching!


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Camp tomorrow!

The team from NC arrived yesterday, tired, but on time. We went to a party yesterday with them at a home in Törökbálint. Mike and Terry's church was hosting a rummage sale/cookout. Cookout in Hungary involves food cooked over hot fires in pots. As it was over 90 degrees outside, the hot fires made for quite a "toasty" experience. Nonetheless, the food was delicious, the hosts were gracious, and everyone had a good time. Alexander even enjoyed the stew made from tripe. Look it up. I skipped it.



We spent today attending church with the Adams at their Hungarian church in Budaörs. I had fun again singing praise songs in Hungarian. The message was about Noah and how God gave Noah precise directions on what he was to do, down to the last detail. It taught us that when God is going to move and invites us to be involved, he leaves no room for question! So encouraging. The church prayed for us as we prepare to lead the camps this week.

Tonight we had another "light" Hungarian meal. I won't even begin to describe it. The picture says it all. We also enjoyed cold drinks with ICE. A bit of a rarity around here.



It is really quite warm here. Please pray for cool heads and warm hearts as we lead camp this week. I can honestly say I feel ill-equipped for the task, and I need the Holy Spirit's help. Please pray for all of us, that the message of Christ would be clearly spoken, that hearts and minds would be open, and that God would do a mighty work. Thanks for your continued prayers!


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Thursday prayer requests

I really can't believe it is Thursday already and that I've been in CE for almost two weeks! The time is going by very quickly.(gyorsan!) The weather the past few days has been so pretty. Mike told me we are on the same latitude as Toronto. One thing I can't quite ever get used to is the fact that the sun comes up at around four A.M. Rise and shine!

Today we met with some of the Budapest team to talk about the VBS and English camps next week. We start quite early each morning with VBS, break for lunch, and then work with the kids on two hours of English in the afternoons. Should make for busy days, but no doubt lots of fun. If you would, please pray for five members of a team from North Carolina who will join us for the camps. There are already predictions of bad weather for tomorrow(Friday) in NY, and the team is flying through JFK. For any of you who have experienced delays with regard to weather, you know how frustrating it can be, and the team could be delayed as much as an entire day if they miss their international connection. We're trusting God for their safe travels and arrival, but would certainly appreciate prayers! Please also be praying for the kids who are registering for the camps. The Lord knows just who He wants to be there, and we look forward to seeing who that will be. The numbers are down a bit from last year, so we're hoping for a few more to register.

Please also pray for another team of friends who are traveling today. Katie McClung, Anna Horne, Bonnie Parker and another girl from the U.S. are traveling right now to partner with Attila and Adel Toth's ministry in Romania. For the last four years through their ministry called "Teleios," Bonnie and her husband Floyd (who live in Greenville, S.C.) have partnered with the Toths to hold camps for gypsy children from a village called Apalina. Attila is what I would call a joyful bear of a man, and he and his wife Adel love the Lord and have a tremendous heart for these gypsy people. I had the privelege of meeting them last summer in the States, and it was such a thrill to get to hear how God is working through them to minister to these dear gypsy people. They were instant friends and I love them. Please pray for them and the team as they serve for two weeks starting Monday. Szivem és imaim veletek vannak!

God is at work--in many wonderful ways. More than I can count. Thank you, Lord.

Back in Budapest

After a fantastic week in Wisla I am so happy to be back in Budapest. The time in Poland was such a joy. Worship, fellowship, time with the missionaries, crazy VBS with the MKs. It was such a special a coming together of the body from so many different places. I couldn't help but think of the line from "Blest be the tie that binds" that says "the fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above." I wascso glad to be a part of a very talented and giving team from ECBC. Everyone did their jobs as unto the Lord. I was especially impressed with the hearts of out High School team. So precious to hear them praying for the MKs the last night. They definitely are going for it with the Lord. If only I had been on fire like that at their age! Humbling indeed.










I returned to Diosd on Sunday with Mike and Terry and had the pleasure of attending an evening service at a new church called "The Forum." We sang in Hungarian (can you believe it!!) and English, heard a message in English and got to spend time discussing God's Word and the Christian walk with two Hungarian students, Viktor and Zoli, and a Swedish med student named Andreas. So cool! Such an exciting work beginning there and so much potential for a big impact on the city. Loved the atmosphere of dialogue and sharing. Had my first palacsinta -- yummy Hungarian crepes filled with cheese. Definitely want to try those at home.

Today I went with my friends Karen, Abby and Chloe into Budapest. We had yummy gulyas (goolash!) for lunch, saw the central market where fruits, vegetables, meats, and many other wares are sold. It's an amazing place, and the building is 100+ years old. The roof is entirely covered with beautiful tiles.


We also saw the memorial to the Jews from Budapest who died in the Holocaust. It is stirring to see all of those shoes lined up along the Danube and think of the many people represented by this memorial.





What lovely day with dear friends. Blessings abound, and I am so grateful.


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Wisla wonders

Thursday in Wisla and I am just amazed at how wonderful it is to be back with these people. I'm learning more every day about what it means to be a missionary. It really means just living out your faith for the Lord---WHEREVER you are. These people are not different. They don't have halos, although their graciousness is easily seen. When you talk with them, you can see and hear the joy in what they are doing, and you know that their satisfaction and joy comes from the Lord. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Convicting and inspiring at the same time.

Some of the delights of being at this beautiful hotel in Wisla are in the dining room. Fantastic food, fellowship, and panoramic views of the scenic hills around the village.




A funny thing happened this morning. Bob and Jody, two of our team from ECBC were trying to branch out at breakfast and sit with some of the missionaries. For those of you who know Bob, you know he doesn't know a stranger. Well, they saw a fellow who was sitting alone, and asked if they could join him. He gestured toward two empty seats, and Bob and Jody sat down, and began to engage him in conversation but soon discovered he was a Polish man here for the electron microscopy conference.

With regard to the VBS music, I've already been greatly complimented for my hip hop stylings. Break it down.

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I should be packing...

...but these thoughts have been spinning in my head for awhile, and I wanted to jot them down.  I am certainly not claiming that any of these thoughts are original to my little mind, but I believe they are speaking to some things I am going through right now.

I have been reading through the Gospel of John, and not long ago came across the story of Jesus' raising of Lazarus in chapter 11.  I've read and heard this account many times before, but this time something jumped out at me.  Here is the opening of the chapter:

"Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.  It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill.  So the sisters sent to him, saying, 'Lord, he whom you love is ill.' But when Jesus heard it he said, 'This illness does not lead to death.  It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.'"

Now take a look at this...

v. 5 "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was."

Jesus knew Lazarus was ill.  If the illness wasn't serious, Mary and Martha would probably not have bothered their Lord.  Jesus also knew his dear friends Mary and Martha were undoubtedly suffering with worry over their brother.  And yet, "he stayed two days longer in the place where he was."

What was this about?  Why would Jesus, whose whole purpose of coming to earth was to demonstrate the sacrificial love of the Father through the redemption of sin, delay in going to help his beloved friends?  Doesn't this make him seem cruel? Cavalier?  Was he trying to teach Mary and Martha a hard lesson about suffering?  Did they somehow deserve to suffer?  Invite suffering?  And what about Lazarus?  He is often the forgotten player in this drama.  We never hear anything that he is thinking, but don't you have to wonder if he felt like Jesus had turned his back on him?  Had forgotten him? 

Here is what struck me about this.  Jesus could have healed Lazarus on the spot, without even going to his bedside.  He did this with the Centurion's servant in Luke 7 and the Official's son in John, chapter 4.  But by staying away longer, he assured that Lazarus was dead.  In doing this, he was able to display a miracle that was even greater than healing.  He was going to bring Lazarus back from the dead.  He was not just going to heal Lazarus of his illness, he was going to display his ultimate power over pain, suffering, loss, disillusionment, and give the world the first glimpse of his power over death and the grave. 

Jesus was actually loving Mary, Martha, and Lazarus BETTER by not answering when they first called.  He loved them so much he wanted them to see who he really was with their own eyes.  To have a deeper understanding of him.  To know more about the Father because of what Jesus was able to do in their lives.  They just had to wait for it a little longer than they thought.

How often is Jesus loving me BETTER by not answering my prayers?

I was reminded of this by my three year old nephew Luken when I was home last month.  He wanted something to eat and was being quite impatient about it.  (He is rather the cock of the walk in my sister's house) One of his favorite treats is fresh strawberries, so I was cleaning and preparing some for him as he had a meltdown in the other room.  When I had finished, I carried them into him behind my back like a surprise and said, "Luke, Aunt Jenny has something really good for you, but you've got to stop crying to get it."

Wow.  In that moment, which I had intended as teachable for my nephew, God smacked me down.  How often to I spend time mourning what I don't have rather than anticipating the surprise of what he has in store? How often is he graciously waiting to give me something when all I am doing is crying about what I don't have?  How many blessings do I miss from him because I am caught up in myself?  How often do I crave the lesser miracle in my life by thinking I know what is best for me instead of trusting the almighty God of the universe?  

Lord, please help me to trust in your deep love for me.  Please, rain down your Spirit to help me to comprehend you each day in a new way.  Please, I beg you to forgive me when I act like a petulant child, demanding that I want something from you NOW instead of letting you love me by giving me something better.  Give me eyes to see beyond myself, to love others with your everlasting love.  And please, pour out the greatest gift you could give me in this life...more of you.

"What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life,
is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights,
Are Your mercies in disguise?"
Blessings--Laura Story

An Exciting New Adventure

Hungarian Parliament Building

The Lord willing, in just three days I will be arriving in Central Europe for a month of adventure.  I await with great expectation what the Lord will do in this time.  Such a privilege to be able to go and see some of his marvelous creation, both in the cities and the people of the countries I will be visiting.

The first stop will be Wisła, Poland for a meeting with missionaries from all over Central Europe.  Along with a team from my church, I will have the opportunity to assist in leading worship for the meetings and to teach Bible School music to the MKs.  I was able to go last year on this same STM, and was so blessed by the time there.  The best part is getting to spend time with these dear people and to hear what God is doing in their various ministries around Central Europe.  I am very grateful for the opportunity to return and am looking forward to more blessings!

Lánchíd

Following the meetings in Poland, I will be returning with some missionary friends to the beautiful city of Budapest. Even as I write this, I can hardly believe it is true. Last year I had the privilege of a short visit to this gorgeous city. This year I am blessed to return for nearly two weeks!  I'm so excited to again wander the streets of this amazing place.  I remember such a joy at just being in this city.  I can't really describe it.  The culture, history, language, food, everything about it is really just fascinating to me. What a blessing to be allowed to return and to experience more of this city.

Váci Utca

While I'm there, I'll be staying with some new friends in the smaller city of Diósd, on the outskirts of Budapest. (For any Diction students out there, that is pronounced [di-oʃd].  For non Diction students, "dee-oshd") These friends, along with others from nearby Budafok will be holding English camps for Hungarians, and I will get to help teach both music and things about the English language.  Should be great fun. I'm sure the Hungarians will teach me just as much.  In addition to the new friends from Diósd and Budafok, a team from North Carolina will be coming to teach and help with the camps as well.  Members of this team have served in Budapest before and are just as excited to get back there as I am.  Can't wait to meet these new brothers and sisters in Christ.

Some of the city's gorgeous tile work

I'm really excited to have the opportunity to spend time with the Hungarian people.  Last year I certainly enjoyed my time as a tourist.  But nothing is more interesting and rewarding than spending time with the locals.  What a gracious gift the Lord has afforded me with this opportunity.  

Please pray that I might be used of the Lord in some way while I'm there.  I want to be open to his leading constantly, and just to revel in his plan for me, both in this trip and for my life.  

At the end of the time in Budapest, I will have another amazing opportunity to travel as a soloist with a choral tour of Budapest, Bratislava, Slovakia, Vienna, Austria, and Prague, Czech Republic.  I have been to all of these cities before with the exception of Bratislava, and am thrilled to be able to return.  I can hardly believe that God would allow me the pleasure of singing in these historic places.  My cup overflows.  

Surprise fireworks over the Danube

Psalm 25:10 says, "All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness."  I can see in so many ways how God has shown me his faithfulness and great love in the way this trip has come about.  I pray that he will continue to change me through his love, to prepare my heart and mind to serve him, and to ready my spirit for the opportunities he has set before me.  Most of all, I pray that he will use me for his glory in whatever way he sees fit.