Psalm 25

I have been following my pastor's advice, and working my way through the Psalms. It can, at times, be an exercise in obedience. But, then there come the times when God just reaches down and lays his hand on me, and says, LISTEN, CHILD...I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME. That happened today.

I was reading Psalm 25, and there were several passages that stood out to me.

v. 1 To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God.

How many times do I distrust him? And yet he allows me to lift up my soul to him; that very core of my being that cries out in loneliness and longing, that is black at times, that reaches for heaven. And yet, just two Psalms back he promises to restore my soul. Lord, restore my soul to you DAILY. I lift it up.

v. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame.

v. 4-5 Show me your ways, O lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

All day long, Lord. Can you show me what it is like to hope in you all day long? Show me a hope that goes beyond my longings to your glory. Teach me your paths, like how to get outside myself, and see your truth.

v. 10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

At times, Lord, your ways do not seem loving. They are painful, trying, filled with loss, frustrating. Yet you promise to instruct me in your ways, and that you will keep your covenant with me because of your faithfulness. So I will continue to hope and trust in you.

v. 14 The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.

Lord, confide in me. Tell me things that not everyone gets to hear. Confide in me as a bosom friend. I want to know the deepest parts of you.

v. 21 May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope is in you.

Is Jesus precious to you?

My pastor recently asked in a sermon, "Is Jesus precious to you?" I had to really think about that. I gave my life to Christ a long time ago, and although I have known him as my Savior and Lord, and that he has guided my life and decisions on endless occasions, I had to ask myself if he was indeed precious to me. The answer, I discovered, is -- not precious enough.

I think of many things as precious. My new little nephew, time with friends, memories of my grandmothers, my mother and father, my sweet sister. But the Bible says clearly that I must "disown" all of these things if I am to truly follow Christ. How does one do that, exactly? I know in my head that Jesus should be the ONE thing, and all others should fall away. And then there are the dreams and hopes of many more unfulfilled desires that I also hold precious. How do I let go of those?

I think it was Corrie Ten Boom said that one should never hold something so tightly that it hurts when God has to pry your fingers open to take it from you. I want to get to that place...that all else becomes secondary to my precious Jesus. I just pray that Jesus can show me how to do it, because it is not in me to make it happen. I can feel myself tearing up as I write this. My fingers hurt.